Antara Mali comes clean on ‘The Rules’ of Bollywood, the changing nature of Mr. Right, and why she chose to get under the skin of Madhuri Dixit

The Antara Mali story vs ‘Main Madhuri Dixit Banna Chahti Hoon’: It’s very relevant to my own life because of the aspirational quality that exists within it. It’s an aspirational film. And I think that is what touches me the most, because we all have aspirations; we all have ambitions. There’s always that one thing we want to do or that one goal we want to reach. Sometimes, these idols are on the outside and sometimes these ideals are on the inside.

The allure of Madhuri: I’d say charisma. And magic! That’s actually the only word I can associate with Madhuri: Magic. And yes, warmth, very gentle eyes and a very gentle persona.

Breaking it in Bollywood: You mean ‘The Rules’? There are no rules! Every actor or actress finds that their career forms behind them, and that it’s only later that they’ve realised what has worked or not worked for them.

15 seconds of fame: Is irrelevant to my life.

Acting is all about: Imbibing. Acting is about projection of what you imbibe from your life and experiences. Being able to understand the sensibility of the format that you work in, whether it’s cinema, theatre, etc. And being spontaneous and having the knowledge and intelligence to put it across.

With stardom comes ego: Ego does not exist. Only the self exists. A sense of self is ego.
Roles getting better for women: Not really, but we’re going that way. We’re going to a point where we want to see the ‘real women’, and not just screen goddesses.

What’s most important: Freedom of expression and to just let people be who they are. To be able to have the independence to say what you want to say and do what you want to do, without being restricted. But yes, you have to want it; you sometimes have to fight for it!

Antara in the mirror: I value commitment. I value responsibility. I value integrity, whether it’s in a personal or professional relationship. I like to be around people who when they say they’ll do something, they do it. I don’t like loose talkers. I don’t react to words. I’m a woman who absorbs actions more — even if a person is not saying all the right things, but doing all the right things, then he’s the man for me!

Dating: Whoa! (laughs). Dating is an interesting concept because you get to meet a lot of people. And dating for me is more than just looking for a potential mate — going out for lunch with a friend could even be a date. I think dating misfires when you keep looking for a potential mate in everybody you meet.

Mr. Right: Keeps changing according to what your requirement is at that point of time in life. We keep growing to different levels, keep growing with different paths and different directions. So today what I would want in a man, I would not want three years down the line. (After a pause) I know, it’s a scary thought. It throws out the concept of marriage completely.

Men are from Mars: Men have their strengths, and women too... but I don’t think there should be a competition between the two sexes. They should complement each other, in the way nature has made us. (Laughs) We can fight with the aliens and we can fight with animals that attack us, but why should we fight with humankind?

Hotties: Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise! OK, and Aamir Khan.
Male sex symbols: It’s high time that men stripped (laughs). I think it’s interesting that men are finally showing their vanities, which always existed, but it’s nice that now they’re coming to terms with it.

Obsessions: Cinema. Dancing and reading are other passions but I’m not as interested in them as I am in cinema.

Item numbers: That is not my cup of tea. I don’t think I’d be very good at it!

Next up: I’m someone who always wants to experiment, do things that are different, that I haven’t done before. Roles that really titillate my senses and that help me grow. So in the pipeline there’s Anurag Kashyap’s ‘Gulab’, a political film based in Rajasthan, ‘Gayab’ which borders on science fiction and fantasy, and then there’s ‘Nach’, which deals with the philosophical element of dance rather than just the form of dance.

Willful wisdom for newcomers: Just go with what you believe in and what you want to do. There have to be convictions within yourself! You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do and you have to do everything you want to do, though just do it very well!

Antara in a nutshell: Mad! Mad! Mad! Mad!
As told to Farhad J Dadyburjor