'I Love The Musician, I Love The Man'- Femina

Antonia Minnecola Hussain is yet besotted by her husband of 25 years. Nupur Mahajan gets a rare insight into Zakir Hussain’s marriage through the eyes of his American bride

Honey-brown hair, crisp burnt honey gold cotton sari and horn-rimmed honey brown glasses hiding bright blue eyes. She could have passed of as any one from Zakir Hussain’s mammoth female following as she sat there with her Handycam zoomed on him.

Antonia Minnecola Hussain, so caught up with her husband’s performance, and ensuring the right camera angle, did not notice the swaying make-shift electricity pole. But Zakir did on stage. “Tony watch out!” he yelled, hands still on the tabla , the beat unbroken — but concern flashing in his eyes, emotion betrayed in the tenor of his voice.

The Years Gone By
It’s been 30 years since their first meeting in California — her tryst with his tabla ranging back to their days together at the Ali Akbar Foundation in Los Angeles — and watching her lost to his beats, one would think she’s only just been introduced to Zakir Hussain’s magic. And that, she confesses, is one of the secrets of a cross-cultural marriage that is soon going to celebrate 25 years of togetherness.

“It is only when I see our two grown-up daughters that I believe it will actually be 25 years this August,” she sighs. “They’ve gone by in a flash, it was just now that we met, and then we had kids. I can actually turn around and see all our time together — the time before we had children, the days when I was learning Kathak and he, Ustad Allahrakha’s son, was mastering his skill. It just seems a kiss away.”

You don’t need to be a multi-certificated psychiatrist to see that she is besotted by her man. And though this wasn’t her type, her regular ‘stars and stripes’

Starting Out
Yorker, he never fell short of her expectations. “When 17-year-old Zakir landed in New York, he wasn’t sure of his English,” she recounts what is obviously a special anecdote between husband and wife.

“Walking up to a local to ask for directions, he first apologised for his English. The man told Zakir, ‘You speak better English than most Americans!”’ she preens. Nothing special about the tale. Nothing but an insight into the respect that Zakir commands from his lovely wife.

When Tony decided to study under Sitara Devi, Zakir smiled. “She just lives down the road,” he told her. For Zakir, Sitara Devi was Abbaji’s contemporary whom he knew since he was a little boy and soon Tony had found her guru. “I can’t tell you what it meant for me to learn from Sitara. I was blown away to be learning from a woman with so much shakti and history. And this was just a sample of Zakir’s mindful ways which he yet has.”

Embracing Indian Traditions
An Indian love, born in New York, with schooling in LA, Tony is today settled in California — but is by choice an Indian. She not only married Zakir Hussain, she married India. Today when she celebrates Basant Panchami and stops by at the temple, or as she visits Umed Bhavan with her guru Sitara Devi, and even in her ensuring that both their daughters pick up Kathak — she is every bit an Indian, every bit Abbaji’s bahu . And she doesn’t pitch that to be voted the most compromising American desi, she merely attributes it to Zakir.

“Zakir is part of a great Indian tradition which I have assimilated. Having a father like Ustad Allahrakha, his responsibilities were predetermined, but he was always supportive of me and made an effort to include me into his family. I too, understand where he comes from and how it is important for him to find himself.”

When prodded, she admits that this is another of the secrets of their successful marriage. “Marriage is a constant give and take. Our differences make the bond stronger; I am as full of a certain culture as he is. And we have managed to balance it out. But mind you, it’s a little mysterious — what works for me may not work for you!”

In Love Forever
But peculiarity is the essence of each relationship. And in the Zakir-Tony love serenade, Cupid, though he didn’t work at first sight, has stayed put all this while. “Love at second sight,” laughs Antonia. “It just happened and trust me, it was easy. Zakir is loveable. He is so incredibly sweet and what I respect is that his charm isn’t a façade — it’s natural. I call it God’s gift.”

Ask her what she thinks of him being nicknamed ‘the ladies man’ and she brushes it off. “It’s just his mild and easygoing nature. People get drawn to him because of his ability to make them feel good about themselves. And why point fingers at others? At times even I feel overwhelmed at being married to such a great artiste. But he’s the man for me. My man who yet surprises me with the things he does. My man at whom I point with pride and say, hey that’s my Valentine, my husband of 25 years!”

ANTONIA’S SECRETS

“Marry the right person. It is so easy to confuse infatuation with love.”

“Averages be damned, let every second American be divorced, Antonia doesn’t believe in it. “Marriage is for life, and to ensure that the appeal endures, make sure you have separate lives. You just can’t be together every minute. Go visit your mother, a little separation does good.”

So, on the 28th of this month, Zakir and Antonia perform together in London. She dances, he plays. Post which they do their own thing. Till they meet for the big celebration on August 22, for which there are no plans as yet. Mommy and Daddy have left it to the girls.