By Purabi Shridhar

Feminism, says Urvashi Butalia, is not about burning bras or hating men; it is about the right to a life of dignity.

“Which woman in her right mind would burn bras? They’re so expensive!” chuckles Urvashi Butalia, writer and co-founder of Kali for Women, the first and only feminist publishing house in India.

“And no breaking up of families either! A feminist is a woman, whatever her class, who believes strongly in the right to a life of dignity. Feminism is close to humanism. I don’t subscribe to extreme ideas about burning bras and breaking up families, these are icons that came to define the norms whereas they’re the exceptions,” says Urvashi, still recovering from being awarded the prestigious 2003 Nikkei Asia Prize for Culture from Japan for her book, ‘The Other Side of Silence’. That’s a first for culture and second for an Indian, the only other winner being Narayan Murthy of Infosys for technical innovations.

Pure Accident
For someone, who, along with co-founder Ritu Menon, created publishing history and gave a major fillip to the women’s movement in India, Urvashi is far removed from the general perception of a strident feminist. Urvashi, during her student days, met Sherry, a secretary in Oxford University Press (OUP), at her French classes who suggested that she freelance as a ‘paster-upper’. Though it was “inglorious” work that involved pasting “Ram-Sita over John-Mary” in English books being adapted for Indian schools, Urvashi got addicted to publishing. After her Masters’, she joined OUP as an assistant to the production manager.

Rebel With A Cause
All the while, Urvashi’s involvement in women’s movements was growing steadily. She was part of the original collective of 16 women who founded ‘Manushi’, but she quit after the first issue.

“I felt sad to leave ‘Manushi’ but I moved ahead with other organisations like Stree Sangarsh, which was in the forefront of anti-dowry demonstrations. After six years with OUP, she put in her papers — a decision made necessary by the fact that a full-time job curtailed her growing involvement with the women’s cause. Instead, Urvashi began teaching book publishing in Delhi University.

Making History
After a stint in marketing with Zed Publishing in the UK, Urvashi was ready to start out on her own. In April 1984, Urvashi and Ritu launched Kali for Women. “The only model or inspiration was Virago and the feminist press in the US, but we had no money. We did what women do — pool resources. We did editorial and production work to earn money,” reminisces Urvashi, adding that though it was frightening, it was a constant non-stop high.

The excitement, says Urvashi, hasn’t died, but after 19 years, Kali has undergone a major metamorphosis — a split into two divisions. “The problem was one of interests. Ritu and I are two strong independent women and our method of working was different,” candidly admits a rather sad Urvashi.

Urvashi is now comfortable with being a behind-the-desk-activist from being one on the streets in the midst of direct action. “Demonstrations are not the answer, creating knowledge is also activism. Working with Kali has taught me this,” she avers.

Looking Ahead
Fifty-one-year-old Urvashi has also come to terms with being single in life and above all, answering uncomfortable questions: “You actually want to ask why I’m not married? I’m not against marriage and if I’m single, it is not because of some angularity against men. I love men, I like their company but I had no time, I was too busy doing what I was doing. There was a point in life when it could’ve happened but it didn’t. I was so young and heartbroken. Subsequently, I’ve not missed it because of a very close and supportive family.”

There’s still so much to do. Like being a publisher and writer. For someone who authored ‘The Other Side of Silence’, a moving, personal chronicle on the partition, Urvashi has three books planned despite her busy schedule. “There were times when I wanted to quit publishing, but writing is selfish and self-absorbent whereas I love interacting with people.”

A book on a eunuch is occupying her every spare moment; “I’ve been working on it for the last six years, we meet every Sunday afternoon and we’re doing the book together. It is about living between two identities, a man and a woman.” Only a complete woman could empathise. “There were times when I wanted to quit publishing, but writing is selfish and self-absorbent whereas I love interacting with people.”