Photographer, actor and ‘impossible man’, Boman Irani talks about love, lust and all that comes in between.

1 ‘I love you’ may be a solidly powerful phrase but it’s the most used, overused, clichéd, boring and mundane phrase. Get on with it, please.

2 Never try to intellectualise lust.
Lust can only mean l-u-s-t!

3 It’s okay for guys to do it, but when a woman digs her nose — that is a complete no-no.

4 Women should know that farting is like burping; it’s God’s gift to mankind, so let it go!

5 Men who scratch openly, do it because it means they’re comfortable with themselves. No offence intended.

6 Beauty is really about aesthetism. We’ve accepted bald women — they are sexy today — so some day we might even accept women with French beards. That might be sexy in a hundred years! Relax.

7 All men lech. Period.

8 Big breasts are a collegian’s perception of sexy. I’m a bit old for that.

9 Laughing-in-the-head humour is the most exciting kind of humour (most women have it), because you’re dying to tell somebody, you’re wondering if you’ll remember it, and it’s got such a quirkiness about it.

10 The tone of skin is a very attractive feature. It’s difficult to explain but you can see it in my eyes when I’m talking to you. Yes, I know, very like Hannibal Lecter.

11 ‘Kya bolu sex ke bare mein ?’ I’m still learning!

12 Never trust a man without a sense of humour. He’s incomplete.

13 Bad breath is the biggest turn-off, followed closely by unwaxed hair on the legs.

14 The willy is always a point of discussion in male company. It’s considered the springboard for all male achievement.
Unfortunately, a lot of men have their brains in their scrotum!

15 If I could be a woman for a day, who would I be? Well, if I was a beauty pageant contestant, I’d say ‘my mother’ or ‘Mother Teresa’. Or just for the fun of it, Dolly Parton.

16 Boys night out has to be legalised! Like Sundays, it’s good for any relationship or marriage.


Boman Irani spoke to Farhad J Dadyburjor

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