When Japanese Crown Princess Masako had her first child at 38, she paved the way for better acceptance of first time, 30-plus mothers in conservative Japan. While there may be no crown princess closer home to set a trend, a large number of Indian women are no longer threatened by the ever-active biological clock as they hit 30.

As gynaecologist Dr Raj Gupta from Delhi observes, “A few years ago, we would call a first mother at 30 an ‘elderly primae’. Today, the instances are so common that the term ‘elderly’ is disliked. So we call first-time mothers between 35-40, ‘mature gravita’.”

Marriage itself has taken a back seat among urban women who are busy pursuing and organising careers. “Most women who choose to have babies post-35 are usually working women belonging to the upper strata of society,” says eminent Calcutta gynaecologist Professor Kalyani Mukherjee. She points out that, “In most cases, they need to consolidate their marriage and career before they can think of having babies.”

Take, for instance, Donna Curry Van Steensel from Goa who had her first child at 39. Today, he is a chubby eight-year-old, and Donna has happily put her working days behind to be able to spend more time with him.
AGE NO BAR?

Call it Nature’s bias, but women age faster than men do. So just how safe is it to have a child in your mid-30s? And just how late is late? What do so many women have in mind, when they decide to start changing nappies at an age when their counterparts are packing teenagers off to college?

Infertility expert and well-known gynaecologist from Delhi, Dr Abha Majumdar agrees that the number of women delaying pregnancy to suit their professional needs is on the rise. “Priorities have changed, and women have become liberated, earning their own money and marrying late. Even those who get married early postpone pregnancy because of their careers,” she says.

Internationally, the average age at which to have your first child is inching beyond 30. In the last few years, celebrities have discovered the joys that motherhood can offer, however late it may be. From material girl to mamma Madonna at 41, to Cherie Blair’s surprise pregnancy at 45, and former supermodel Iman’s baby at 44, famous, successful and rich women are all having a go at mommyhood — age be damned!

The average Indian woman may not make headlines when she opts for a child while pushing 35, but more often than not, her reasons are no different.

The new-age woman is educated, financially independent and hard-working. Her independence shows through in all decisions, whether it is marrying late, or having a baby only when she feels completely ready.

Shalaka Rajagopalan, a lawyer and expectant mother from Delhi, says, “By the time I was settled enough in my profession and had found the person I wanted to marry and have a family with, I was 32 years old; my decision to have a child late was very conscious, as we wanted a baby only when we felt emotionally, professionally and financially suited for it.”

Nirmala Nathan, a Delhi-based terracotta artist, met her Mr Right at 39. She had always wanted children, and decided to go ahead. Age may not have been on her side, but Nirmala says that she never had any second thoughts as she loved children and had always wanted to be a mother.

While Nirmala’s case was a circumstantial one, Donna, on the other hand, chose to have a baby in her mid-30s because of her career.
“Having a child late helped me handle motherhood with maturity, I had a better understanding of child-rearing and could maintain a peaceful home,” says the former air-hostess.
What You Really Really Want