'We're women, we're young and we're happy' is the anthem of the now generation. And quite contrary to what the opposite sex might think, it does not take diamonds, a swanky car or a beachhouse to make a woman happy. It's those little things that bring on the sunshine... a warm hug from her beloved, a heart-to-heart with a pal, losing an inch from her waist...

Happiness Is Not A Destination. It Is A Method Of Life
So what makes a woman happy? As sociologist Susan Vishwanathan from Jawaharlal Nehru University (JNU) points out, "Women who have autonomy and are free to make their choices are probably happier than men primarily because those choices have been fought for and won after very recent battles. Women are happy to be out at work and cope with responsibilities at home and work. I think they count these as major victories."

Is it that sense of being able to steer their lives on their chosen tracks that makes them happy? Yes, more than ever. Preeta Verghese Arora, communications professional, Faculty for Management Studies, Pune, is clear that, "At the right time in life, I was able to take a call on what my priorities were. There was the total conviction that I wanted the best of all the worlds - family, career, relationships and of course, time for myself as a thinking individual."

Preeta is not the only one taking a call on what she wants in life. Bangalore's Susan George has reason to crow as, "I've succeeded since I've managed to get away from Kerala to come and study in Bangalore. It has been exhilarating." For 25-year-old Delhi journalist Sanghita Singh, happiness equates with being independent, meeting her deadlines and at the end of the day, being responsible for herself. Happiness for women, she believes, also comes from having come to terms with themselves and not needing any man to feel happy...

And valuing the small things... Like "When my little daughter sends me an e-mail, or when my dog cuddles up near my feet at night or when my mother calls to chat," says Radhika Dossa, 29-year-old ad filmmaker, hotelier and casting director, Pune, or "if I get back home and find my mom's cooked my favourite 'rajma' or my dad's got me flowers," says Shruti Chauhan.

Happiness Depends Upon Ourselves

Why are women happier than men? "Because they go more with their heart," believes Shivani Tibrewala, 20-something Mumbai writer and playwright. Also, because "they derive a lot of happiness from within themselves. They don't have to seek it from external sources like men do," observes Renu Bansal, marketing manager, L'Oreal Professionnel, Mumbai. It's the way women are made, really. Feels Shalini Mundada, fashion designer, Pune: "Women are very emotional but they also have great inner strength, which enables them to fulfil their responsibilities on various fronts - be it home, of family, kids or work.

A little success on any of these fronts gives a woman great satisfaction." Adds Preeta Verghese Arora, "To be happy is about looking at life in the larger perspective and this I sincerely believe, is where women score, with their inherent ability to create and nurture, their steely reserve and resolve to see things through, and go about achieving so many things with the minimum of fuss, not only in the workplace but also at home and the community at large."

Freelance artist and jewellery designer Deeksha Nath feels that men set much higher benchmarks for themselves and have to contend with societal pressure, as finally they're the ones responsible for the family, at least in the eyes of society.

So they are unlikely to go over the top about things like a new dress or a great date. Shabani Hassanwala, 23-year-old freelance journalist studying filmmaking at Jamia Milia Islamia University, Delhi, spares no quarter, "If you notice, women counsel men across all age groups! That's because in Indian society, the performance pressure is greater for the man whereas the woman is emerging as a multi-tasker with the luxury of making a choice."

Women, says sociologist Dr Nehast Quaiser, have been largely left out of the world of male competitiveness and aren't burdened by that sure happiness-killer. "What makes it worse is that a man isn't allowed to express his vulnerability as much." So while we women rave, rant, exult, the men bottle up their anxieties and pressures. Not a very happy situation, isn't it?

It Is Not How Much We Have, But How Much We Enjoy...
A woman has never had it so good before. Says Deeksha Nath, "It's a very exciting time to be a woman; everything we do is applauded. For men, the situation is the same as it always was!" Adds 25-year-old Red FM radio jockey Safia Ally, "Women can express themselves more. Things which were taboo earlier are so normal today, part of everybody's lives and easily accepted - whether it is how you dress, where you work or alternative professions which have become quite popular with women." For Priyanka Vir, being part of a 'cooler' age where it is okay to hang out at pubs and not be misunderstood and where parents are fine with late homecoming or trying out things, definitely adds to the highs.

Shruti Chauhan believes that today, there are ample opportunities for women and they don't feel stifled about anything. Above all, parents are more supportive than ever before... When Shruti opted for modelling, her parents didn't say an outright no. Instead, a discussion followed and it "worked out fine".

Sociologist Patricia Oberoi says that a probable reason why "young women are feeling a greater sense of satisfaction today as compared to their mothers and grandmothers," is because on the two crucial fronts for young women - choice of career and choice of partner - they're deriving a sense of both, freedom and protection. On these two major issues, she says, parents are willing to broaden their views and children are willing to accommodate their parents. In India, she says, people don't want complete freedom; they prefer it when it comes with certain guarantees and protection.

As Deeksha says, "We are constantly pushing boundaries and feeling empowered. We are going into areas we haven't gone before. Perhaps that's why we're happier!"

Blissful Belles
All over the world women are happier with their lives overall than men!
According to the Pew Global Attitudes survey conducted by the Pew Research Centre in 44 countries (38,000 interviews), the women surveyed reported that compared to five years ago, they had made more progress in their lives than men.

Among the countries where women are found to be significantly happier than men is India: 21 per cent women as compared to 13 per cent men. And this trend emerged from all around the world, from the rich countries in North Africa to the poorest nations in Africa and Asia.

In particular, women are much happier than men in Japan, India, the Philippines, Pakistan and Argentina. In 29 out of the 44 country surveys, women gave their lives a better rating. Women in most countries also tend to be more satisfied than men with the personal progress they have made in recent years. In three-fifths of the countries surveyed (26 of 44), more women than men feel they are better off now than they were five years ago. And in ten of those nations, including the United States (52 per cent) and Nigeria (69 per cet) more than half the women surveyed say their lives have improved. Men and women also have different life perspectives:

Women show greater concern about issues that directly affect the family and home life, whereas men are more concerned about issues outside the home. In other words, women are inwardly focused, showing more concern about issues that affect them and their families. Interestingly however, despite, or possibly because of their outward focus, men rate their family life better than women. In 26 of the 44 societies, the men surveyed say they are very satisfied with their life at home and are more optimistic about what lies ahead for their children!

Women who have autonomy and are free to make their choices are probably happier than men primarily because those choices have been fought for and won after very recent battlesWomen who have autonomy and are free to make their choices are probably happier than men primarily because those choices have been fought for and won after very recent battles

'If I See More Women Around, I'd Be Less Stressed!'
olo player Angad Kalan: "No, I won't agree with that. I think it's equal for both men and women; they're both happy and unhappy. I'm pretty happy with my life and I know women who are happy with theirs. It depends on so many things." On second thoughts, he feels, "but then it could be possible because maybe women are less stressed out than men. Why? Because more men are working and men have more responsibilities. Personally, if I see more women around, I'd be less stressed!"

Research Happy
The study of happiness has become a big buzz today. You find professors of happiness in leading universities and quality of life institutes around the world. Over the last decade, researchers have published thousands of papers on the subject, which now have a journal of happiness studies.

With money donated by billionaire philanthropist Sir John Templeton, a series of awards worth USD 200,000, the highest in psychology, has also been set up. Critics, however, fret over what they regard as 'Positive Psychology's faddish attractions'. The late Richard Lazarus, an emeritus professor at the University of California at Berkeley, dismissed the research in positive psychology as not being rigorous enough and ridiculed the movement as 'happiology' led by 'zealots and simplistic thinking'.

Predictably, `happiology' is also sparking 'serious interest' among governments and policy makers around the world. In December '02 for example, PM Tony Blair's Strategy Unit published a paper recommending policies that might increase the nation's happiness.

'I'm Quite Happy When Women Are Happy'
Upcoming fashion designer Sidharth Tytler: "If you look at the history of women in India, then women have reasons to be more happy. They've come very far; have progressed much more than men, in fact, I'd say 40 times more. In terms of job, social standing, etc women have gone farther ahead than men. May be it's a guy versus gal thing but now men are being shot down for some strange reasons. But me, I'm quite happy when women are happy and no sexism there please!"

'Men Don't Bond At The Workplace; They See Each Other As Competitors'
sychiatrist Dr Samir Parikh says that women are better stress managers, have better social skills than men, more ability to empathise, share and communicate, which translate into happier lives. So, from the social and psychological perspective women are overall happier than men. "How many men to bond together at the workplace without seeing each other as competitors? Also, the overall pressure of work on men, though it is changing now, is still huge. As such, they tend to miss out on the ability to have fun and build social bonds," claims Dr Parikh.

Courtesy: The Economic Times
(By Purabi Shridhar with inputs from Reshmi Chakraborty, Delhi; Ruchira Bose, Mumbai; Madhuri Velegar K, Bangalore; Ethel Da Costa, Goa; Namita A Shrivastava, Hyderabad and Sameera Moledina, Pune)