APPLY THE BRAKES: SET GOALS No two relationships are alike, but there are some basic steps that you can take to avoid bloodbaths!
* Decide what your priorities are. This isn’t about making a budget, although you need one if you’re to manage your finances properly. This is about your dreams and your aspirations in life. How do you really want to live? Let yourself dream but also be realistic.
This is about making choices. Would you rather have a vacation every year or a new car? Would you rather have a larger house, or more disposable income? Find some common ground where your dreams mesh. These are your financial goals as a couple.
* Decide how you will meet your goals. Some wishy-washy phrase like “we have to save” really isn’t clear enough. Saving means different things to different people. A natural spender might think saving means putting away money that happens to be left over at the end of the month.
If you’re saving, set a specific and reasonable amount you can both agree on. Decide how you will invest your savings and who will administer the money. You might want to get financial advice here, but the key is that you discuss it first.
* Decide how to deal with everyday finances. Who will balance the checkbook, pay the bills, and make investment decisions? And what is the maximum each can spend without heated arguments? Put a cap on your credit card-spend as well.
* Will you have joint or separate accounts? For many couples, having separate accounts and a third household account is a method that works. Others prefer a joint account with a specific allowance each person can spend as they see fit.
There are many different ways to organise your finances, but it is important that each partner have some money they are free to spend, as recklessly as they see fit. This avoids countless arguments. As you’ve guessed by now, money isn’t about dry financial planning. It is about how you live your life, fulfil your dreams and remain in a happy relationship.
Still, don’t think money is romantic? Well, maybe it isn’t, but it’s a whole lot more romantic than a strained marriage, which is where ignoring your money issues can help you wind up.
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