FIGHTING FRUSTRATION All said and done, there comes a time when one begins to ‘miss’ the job desperately. This is the phase when frustration and depression begin to mount. For example, Nafeesa would spank her son for the slightest mistake. Her mood swings affected the whole family. Nafeesa earlier worked with an IT company and resigned to boost her son’s falling academic record.
It was a similar story with Sushma. Within eight months of leaving her job as a medical representative, her anger and irritability levels shot up. She hit the roof when her husband suggested she see a therapist. Dr Nirmala Rao, a psychiatrist with Aavishkar, Centre for Self Enrichment, Mumbai, feels that the frustration starts to occur mainly when your children grow up and go their own way and the household burden decreases, thus leaving you with more time on your hands. The feeling of living in a vacuum starts gripping many women.
Those who were in high profile jobs miss the power they commanded, they suffer from bouts of depression and feel ‘worthless’. Citing a case, Dr Rao says, a woman who had taken a VRS (Voluntary Retirement Scheme) from her 20-year-long job, had to undergo treatment and counselling for a nervous breakdown.
Sometimes, women are on the lookout for ‘returns’. They want immediate rewards for the supreme ‘sacrifice’ they made by quitting their job for the family. “They tend to become too demanding from their children, which leads to severely punishing or spanking their kids,” adds Dr Rao.
RE-PROGRAMMING LIFE Dr Rao suggests, once you quit, take home-making as yet another means of identification. Count the good results of your performance as a professional’s. This will give you a sense of achievement and a more positive outlook.
Use your energy and hidden potential by trying out flexi-jobs. Volunteer with organisations that do social work. Revive your old hobbies and passions, which took a backseat when you took up a job. Join a music class or start writing poetry again.
Join a yoga class, a meditation course or learn Reiki. Start a small-level business that can be operated from home. A plant nursery, a creche, or tuition classes can be other interesting ways to stay active. It will also satisfy your creative instincts. Life doesn’t have to end when you give up a career and stay home.
Lounging around isn’t such a bad thing, after all.
Photograph: Amit Sharma Model: Tina Chatwal, Femina Miss India 2002 Finalist Make-up & Hair: Pooja Arora
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