We got the idea of 'friendship bandits'from Marla Paul's book 'The Friendship Crisis: Finding, Making And Keeping Friends When You're Not A Kid Anymore'. In the book, she addresses the many challenges and dark sides to women's friendships such as conflict, anger, neglect, jealousy, and being "too busy" to see friends, all of which can destroy relationships. But we are keepers of the Great Friendship Plan, so whatever your particular pal wail, we've got a solution for it...

"I Don't Have The Time!"
Who does? When the day seems stretched between getting going in the morning, spending x hours in meetings and meeting deadlines or doing all the household chores, and getting everything ship-shape in time to switch on the bonhomie at dinner, there IS hardly a moment in which you can indulge in girl pal time.

BE SNEAKY
We wouldn't recommend this to the one-track-minded male gender, but you girl can surely slip some one-on-one time in. If you work, may we suggest a girlie lunch once a week... Leave the office on the dot of the lunch hour or a little earlier, choose a restaurant that's close to one of your workplaces, so that only one of you need waste time travelling (and take turns getting back late!), and if you really know the guys at the restaurant, order in advance. Or why not just carry sandwiches and fruit and sit in one of your offices? After all, when it comes to pals, it's the company that matters, not the food.
If you're a homemaker, catch a pal on the run - go shopping together, even if it is just grocery buying, or sit down for a quick bite between outdoor chores. Can't leave the house? Invite her over to sit around while you do or supervise the inevitable household chores. The bonus? You'll probably get a helping hand!

"I Never Know When I'll Be Free!"
Tell us about it - some days, we're too scared to commit to eating our own lunch in case a sudden meeting or interview comes up! And when we do get a half-hour window of unexpected free time, we're usually too surprised or pooped to use it unconstructively...
BE SMART
The next time you get even a teeny-weeny patch of free time, pick up the phone and make a call to a pal you've been dying to catch up with. Just five minutes' camaraderie will give that friendship a boost of quality time.
Or get on to your e-mail and send off a heartfelt message to a pal. Or even better, try one of Internet card sites - they have great friendship cards (we like the selection at www.hallmark.com). It's easy beating this bandit when you know how.

"I Have Other Priorities!"
Yes, we know - every woman feels unwarranted guilt at wanting to indulge friendship when there are houses to keep, probably parents or a husband and kids to feed and clothe, work to be done...
Be centred
All these responsibilities are not going to go away, though getting your life uncluttered and streamlined will free up an unbelievable amount of time. But even if you don't manage this tomorrow, recognise that having pals and spending time with them will keep you healthier and make you happier and so, help you handle the rest of your life better. So, get rid of guilt and take on the girls - you'll be doing everyone a favour.

"I Hate Potentially Unequal Relationships!"
Okay so most relationships are lopsided, at least to begin with. But good friendships are based on some degree of reciprocity - and negotiating the general give-and-take pattern is part of the fun.

Be clever
If one of your friends is constantly using you as a general girl-about-town to run her chores or as an emotional bulwark to vent all her frustrations, work out her potential for the future. Keep in mind that the friendship will certainly go kaput if you too, decide to cry on her shoulder just now - misery loves company, but it can sure strain friendship if it's the only thing you share. But if she's a good pal otherwise, you're storing up friendship credit for the future, and though she probably doesn't know it, she's prime target to have her ear bent and her shoulder wet quite a lot in time to come.

Okay so most relationships are lopsided, at least to begin with. But good friendships are based on some degree of reciprocity - and negotiating the general give-and-take pattern is part of the fun... So, if one of your friends is constantly using you as a general girl-about-town to run her chores or as an emotional bulwark to vent all her frustrations, work out her potential for the future

Readerspeak

"Time with my pal is precious!
"I have one girl pal who is as committed to our friendship as I am. We tend to meet over a cup of coffee - even if it is just for 15 minutes - almost every day. I also use the time when I'm in the car (not driving, of course!) to phone one of my other pals.
"My friendships are important to me - we make it a point to schedule a lunch or meet for a movie, at least once a week. "And this is fiercely guarded time, we resent interruptions for the five minutes we're talking to our pals."
- Rakhi Agarwal, Mumbai Mother And Homemaker, Who Also Helps With Her Husband's Business