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Man Happy, Woman happier

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'We're women, we're young and we're
happy' is the anthem of the now generation. And quite contrary to what the
opposite sex might think, it does not take diamonds, a swanky car or a
beachhouse to make a woman happy. It's those little things that bring on the
sunshine... a warm hug from her beloved, a heart-to-heart with a pal, losing an
inch from her waist...
Happiness Is
Not A Destination. It Is A Method Of Life

So what makes a woman happy? As sociologist Susan Vishwanathan
from Jawaharlal Nehru University (JNU) points out, "Women who have autonomy and
are free to make their choices are probably happier than men primarily because
those choices have been fought for and won after very recent battles. Women are
happy to be out at work and cope with responsibilities at home and work. I think
they count these as major victories."
Is it that sense of being able
to steer their lives on their chosen tracks that makes them happy? Yes, more
than ever. Preeta Verghese Arora, communications professional, Faculty for
Management Studies, Pune, is clear that, "At the right time in life, I was able
to take a call on what my priorities were. There was the total conviction that I
wanted the best of all the worlds - family, career, relationships and of course,
time for myself as a thinking individual."
Preeta is not the only one
taking a call on what she wants in life. Bangalore's Susan George has reason to
crow as, "I've succeeded since I've managed to get away from Kerala to come and
study in Bangalore. It has been exhilarating." For 25-year-old Delhi journalist
Sanghita Singh, happiness equates with being independent, meeting her deadlines
and at the end of the day, being responsible for herself. Happiness for women,
she believes, also comes from having come to terms with themselves and not
needing any man to feel happy...
And valuing the small things... Like
"When my little daughter sends me an e-mail, or when my dog cuddles up near my
feet at night or when my mother calls to chat," says Radhika Dossa, 29-year-old
ad filmmaker, hotelier and casting director, Pune, or "if I get back home and
find my mom's cooked my favourite 'rajma' or my dad's got me flowers," says
Shruti Chauhan.
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Research
Happy
The study of happiness has become a big buzz today. You find
professors of happiness in leading universities and quality of life institutes
around the world. Over the last decade, researchers have published thousands of
papers on the subject, which now have a journal of happiness
studies.
With money donated by billionaire philanthropist Sir John
Templeton, a series of awards worth USD 200,000, the highest in psychology, has
also been set up. Critics, however, fret over what they regard as 'Positive
Psychology's faddish attractions'. The late Richard Lazarus, an emeritus
professor at the University of California at Berkeley, dismissed the research in
positive psychology as not being rigorous enough and ridiculed the movement as
'happiology' led by 'zealots and simplistic thinking'.
Predictably,
`happiology' is also sparking 'serious interest' among governments and policy
makers around the world. In December '02 for example, PM Tony Blair's Strategy
Unit published a paper recommending policies that might increase the nation's
happiness.
'I'm Quite Happy When
Women Are Happy'
Upcoming fashion designer Sidharth Tytler: "If you
look at the history of women in India, then women have reasons to be more happy.
They've come very far; have progressed much more than men, in fact, I'd say 40
times more. In terms of job, social standing, etc women have gone farther ahead
than men. May be it's a guy versus gal thing but now men are being shot down for
some strange reasons. But me, I'm quite happy when women are happy and no sexism
there please!"
'Men Don't Bond At
The Workplace; They See Each Other As Competitors'
sychiatrist Dr
Samir Parikh says that women are better stress managers, have better social
skills than men, more ability to empathise, share and communicate, which
translate into happier lives. So, from the social and psychological perspective
women are overall happier than men. "How many men to bond together at the
workplace without seeing each other as competitors? Also, the overall pressure
of work on men, though it is changing now, is still huge. As such, they tend to
miss out on the ability to have fun and build social bonds," claims Dr
Parikh.
Courtesy: The Economic
Times
(By Purabi Shridhar with
inputs from Reshmi Chakraborty, Delhi; Ruchira Bose, Mumbai; Madhuri Velegar
K, Bangalore; Ethel Da Costa, Goa; Namita A Shrivastava, Hyderabad and Sameera
Moledina, Pune)
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