When Your Mom Is Competitive...
"Somehow my mother manages to bring every conversation back to herself," says Maya, 30. "If I'm unwell, she's near death's door; if I've lost three kilos, she's lost 10! It's infuriating"

The real problem isn't the competition, but the feeling that she's too absorbed in herself to support you. "Mothers who are competitive tend to feel they're being supportive by showing they're in the same boat, but most daughters would prefer it if their mothers were on the shoreline!" explains Leah.

It's often to do with how you viewed your mum when you were growing up. If you saw her as Superwoman and put her on a pedestal, you probably don't want to know she's suffering like you do. "Which is why," says Steve, "it can help to acknowledge your mother as a 'real' person, by listening to her for a change."
Make It Better: It's worth remembering that your mum's competitiveness could be a result of loneliness. Or maybe she's a bit jealous of your lifestyle and some of the things you've achieved. So listening to her not only helps create a deeper and more satisfying relationship, but also helps erase the competitiveness, as neither of you ends up feeling misunderstood or ignored.